Peace of Mind. This is the gift that God reserves for His special protégés. Talent and beauty He gives to many. Wealth is commonplace, fame not rare. But peace of mind—that is His final guerdon of approval, the fondest sign of His love. He bestows it charily. Most men are never blessed with it; others wait all their lives—yes, far into advanced age—for this gift to descend upon them.

I have seen this inner tranquility flourish without the material supports of property or even the buttress of physical health. Slowly, painfully, I have learned that peace of mind may transform a cottage into a spacious manor hall; the want of it can make a regal park an imprisoning nutshell.

(Joshua Loth Liebman, Peace of Mind, New York: Simon and Schuster, Inc., 1946, pp. 3-5)

 

以前叫LIZZY,是因为很喜欢PRIDE AND PREJUDICE里的LIZZY,大名叫ELIZABETH;小说里LIZZY是她爸爸的最爱,因为她很不仅美丽脱俗,而且还很富于智慧,不象她的其他姐妹在BEAUTY 和WISE两者中总不能兼得!还有就是LIZZY的ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP WITH DARCY,A HANDSOME BUT PRIDE MAN WITH SOME PREJUDICE IN HIS CHARACTERISTIC,BUT STILL OVERWHELMING CHARMING AND THEN BEING MOVED BY THE ACCOMPLISHED AND KIND-HEARTED LIZZY. SO I'VE EVER DREAMED THAT I WOULD MEET MY PRINCE-CHARMING ,MY DARCY! STUPID,ISN'T IT?

另一个原因是,LIZZY 跟LAZY长得瞒像双胞胎的,所以我就告戒自己,LIZZY,DON'T BE LAZY!似乎还有点小用,嘿嘿!

可是有人提意见了,说LIZZY这个音很难发标准,尤其是我们这一带L\N不分的,想想自己读这个音时还要多多注意呢!于是虽然很舍不得,但还是下定决心改了!EMMA 也是小说中的一个很可爱的人物,以前读过简写本,很长时间了,印象最深的是她也是一个非常NICE的小姑娘!继续走我的TO BE NICE路线吧,呵呵!

就叫EMMA了,不改了,呵呵!

　　怀着一种交错的心情回到曾经停留了四年的校园，在紧张的考试之余，感到了更多的关怀与温暖，真得很幸福！

　　感谢小胖和汤汤，为了帮我定到学校里的房间一定费了不少劲，真感谢娟娟的那一碗汤，让我们认识了你们这群可爱而善良的朋友！

　　感谢琰，大头,娟娟，花花，心心，David，etc.可爱的同学们, 那天晚上你们陆续发来的短信把我的心烘得暖暖的,好感动!

     还要感谢那位一同经历的"战友"!那天晚上在宴春吃饭时在我对面拿着小纸条埋头背书后来被我给"吓"跑的原来就是你,没想到第二天考场上又见了,还坐我前面,后来发现你就是上次坐我后面的那位GUY,GOD的安排真有意思!Anyway,每场开始前你会很自然得回过头来说声"加油",给原本紧绷的心情增添了不少活力.谢谢你,也祝愿你能梦想成真!

      琰问回来有没有一种亲切感?我说当然有:二号楼的教室依旧如故(我所在考场的对面就是我们当初呆得最久,回忆最多的考研自习教室哎), 广玉兰的包子\食堂的糖醋小排\宴春的牛肉拉面还是那么好吃,通往学校专家楼的那条林荫道还是那么地安静祥和. 琰问走在这条路上是不是很有感觉?我说是的,便想起第一次来这个学校时就走的这条路!去她们研究生宿舍遇到魏娟娟\王芳她们几个保研的同学,感觉就像是放完了长假回来一样,亲切如故!

     学校也有一些很大的变化!在公交车上一路看来,新造了好多房子,校门看样子也要改了!唉,以后学生会越来越少,这么多房子住得完吗?也许他们有自己的想法吧! 经过汽车学院的大楼,一个醒目的红色大展板立在那里,啊,校长\副校长\党委书记都换了!副校长叫李萍萍,听上去很像是女强人,不过也许是MAN也说不定!琰她们平时已经在给大外的上英语课了,由当初的学生转变成现在的兼职老师感觉一定很不错!

     考完很多人都问我考得怎么样?怎么说呢?SOSO吧!好象我每次感觉自己发挥得很好的时候,结果都不怎么样!感觉很不好的时候,有时还并非就那么糟!上外的竞争如此激烈,很多人都不是第一次考的了,面对这么多主观与客观因素,还能说什么呢?只能是SOSO了!当然,还是要乐观点,接下来多练练口语&PRESENTATION,还要练字,无论有没有面试机会,多学点总归是好的.知识就是力量嘛!呵呵!

     长期紧绷的弦突然松下来很不习惯,人还是有压力好!不过想想我的同学们都已经在工作岗位上开始他们新的角色了,我如果整天消极等待,悠哉悠哉是不是很不象话啦?不行,要振作起来,认真地开始新的生活!相信,有渴望\有追求\有坚持,就一定会有成功的! 我还是很有毅力的,呵呵,稍稍自恋一下!

(完了,发现自己对中文越来越陌生了,看来以后要多多努力学语文了,呵呵)

     

A long long journey has reached a temporary terminal! Happy or not? It's only can be judged by the one himself!

It's true that this experience is a combination of joys and regrets, reliefs and nervousness, smoothness and challenges. In another word, this is a competition belonging to the real soldiers who fear no visible and invisible enemies ahead, bravely accept both gentle breeze and fierce storms, and strongly face up with the possible success and failure. Thanks to the strength of character of myself, I can have such an opportunity to rejoice myself on the battlefield beamed with the shining sweats and sweet blood, which have guided us to a deeper insight of life! Smiles and Tears there have become an important part of the fortuneness of our life, an unforgetable one!

 

At the temporary terminal, a complex feeling bursted into my mind, too complicated to describe them in words one by one!In a simple word, thanks very much for the great ecoutagement, confidence, and warmth given by my family, my sweet classmates, and my dear friends, and best wishes to all the lovely fellows on the same way with me to SISU! God will bless all of us!

 

 

Nearly 5 months stuty has left a unremovable impression in my heart, which I believe will turn to be an unmeasurable treasure, accompanying me forever!

 

In the telephone, Betty asked me whether u had felt some proffesional progress u'd made. "Sure," I replied," It's objective rule that every effort one's made will pay off, although I can't make sure of the approaching examination." Actually, no only has the change of my knowledge accumulation happened, but also the inner world of my heart has to some degree underwent some change, which cannot only be defined to be the better or worse, but a kind of unspeakable and untreasurable experience.

 

Except the dinner time and the occational out-walking, I've spent most of my time by myself, in my little world, during the past 5 months. In another words, from the beginning of the period, I've begun to seek for the happiness of being alone with the spirit of Thoreau and his masterpiece __Warden River! Being alone is a very strange and mysterious situation, which has long been the topic of people: some appraise it as the best gift which will endow u with great energy to seek for the excellence while some abhor it as the most terrible enemy of human beings. Both have their reasonalbe grounds I think, and as for me, I incline to defining it as both the friend and foe, who will bring people both treasure and lost, depending on how one will deal with it!

 

Maybe I'm not qualified enough to be a winner in the struggle against the loneliness, but by no means I've been reduced to be a loser, for the reason that I've indeed tasted the sweet from the pains of being alone! Very sweety!

 

Living by oneself, one will be endowed with a complete quiet world where u're the master in real sense, thinking, talking, dancing and singing without any disturbance from the outside world, among which the most treasurable one for me is that one can have the opportunity to listen to the beating of his own heart and dive into the ocean of his own heart to seek for the long-time percitated memory, the truest and purest feelings at the bottom of it.

 

Fortunately, I've got it, but unfortunately, I have to remove it from the bottom of my heart forever!

 

That's good, I think! At least, that means something new will come to replenish it in the future,near or far!

 

In these days, I have to thank most to my most loyal male, my soul male__the music, which is powerful enough to bring every lost child from the bottom of abyss, no matter how deep it is, the heartwarming light of hope! Maybe that is the amazing grace God has endowed to the mankind!

 

But above all, one should keep a positive attitude and progrssive mind in the long long journey,'cause God only help those who help themselves! 

God you made the world all wrong
I'm so ugly - he's so fine
I would love her my life long
But she never would be mine

Now he owns her heart and soul
Without giving her a thing
And she thinks he'll make her whole
With the love she thinks he'll bring

She will lie down at his touch
And believe his lies with pride
It's his face she loves so much
She can't see what's deep inside

God you made the world all wrong
He's so rich and I'm so poor
He will make her life a song
He will give her nothing more

God you made the world all wrong
Let her have her shining knight
Beauty to the rich belongs
Not to us outside the light

I am just an ugly stain
That the world just wants to hide
God you gave me so much pain
Were you ever on my side?

God you made the world all wrong
I have nothing, he has all
But I'll tell her all along
He won't be there if she falls

He was born to silk and lace
To make love and to make war
I was born without a face
God what did you make me for?

Tell me what side God is on
Those whose silver buys the Host?
Or those who pray to God alone
Day and night, this Holy Ghost?

Can this Jesus we adore
Save his blessing only for
Those three Kings of gold and myrrh
And leave the shepherds at the door?

God you made the world so wrong
I'm so ugly, she's so fine
I will love her my life long
But she never will be mine

There is nothing more appropriate than the capricious weather to be compared to the unpredictable changing of mood.At one time the world of u is completely teemed with the warm sunshine which brings in so much hopes and joys. However, without any signal, the dark cloud may aggressively take up the whole blue sky with the unremittingly lighting and anthundering,and then comes the pouring rain plundering away all the traces of sunshine!

 

Nevertheless, with the rapid advancing of the satellite, the level of weather forcast has been on its fast way to be more timely and accurate, which has ,plus or minus, helped people to know more about the wayward child and do the utmost to control him, Undoubtedly, development has also happened in our way of recognizing ourselves in favour of conroling our emotions and disciplining our behaviour better, although it's indeed not an easy task, specifically, almost a hard spiritual odyssey!

 

So, what will u do when attacked by an unexpectant strange sensibility due to disturb ur mind and confine u into an tumultuous state where most of ur mind is dominated by the strong feeling, almost making u cazy? Seemingly it's time to take out our universally-acknowledged weapon __the sense! The sense, however, sometimes will lose its power! Certainly, it's not so difficult to foresee the coming of drizzle, heavy rain, storm and snow, even the fierce typhoon. But what about the ominous tsunami, earthquake or even the eruption of volcano? They always lurk in without being noticed by the most suble instrument available, so does the uppermost bad weather in mankinds' mood, which come to take over ur mind overwheling, leaving no chance for u to have a breathe. And what u can do maybe is just waiting, waiting, waitng, until the end of the struggle between the sense and sensibility!

 

Time to sleep! Luckily, every time I was in such a suffocating and suffering situiation, sense was always the winner, or u would have to find me in heaven.

It's not easy for me to turn my biological clock from the way of the night-owel to the early bird!

And last night , I suffered the pains of insominia. In the deep darkness and depression, I tried to snatch every straw whichwill help to save me ,like a lost child fallen to the bottom of the abyss.Turning over again and again, some fantastic ideas kept hanging over in my head ,as if torrents tumbling violently to suffocate and toss my soul into pieces. The clock clicked 1a.m."My endeavour would be futile if I can't fall into sleep before 2 a.m."I said to myself!

 

However, what treathened me was that what would I do if I were also in such a situation at the night before the examination, actually which also happened to me in my past experiences:

 

The night before TEM4:That was a slight insominia. Went to sleep at 11:oo, but then turned over and over until !2:00 when I eventually can't wait to resort to some measurements: Get up and go to the restroom. Surprisingly, after my rescuring action, one by one, my roommates also followed suit, seemingly like touch and go! Lied down agian, deep breathing and reliveing, unconsicouly I went to my sound sleep! Survive!

 

The night before the Test of Andcanced Interpretation: A little more severe one! Before going to sleep, I caculated the time well to have a smal cup of milk which is said to assure a sound sleeping, because too early the effect will be not so good, while being too late will make my sleeping interrupted by going to the restroom. Lying on the not so comfortable cheap-hotel bed, I closed my eyes praying to God: please let me go to sleep quickly, please, please! Fortunately, this time it did work. Nevertheless, what was whispering to my ears? What was biting my face? Mosquito, the disgusting and terrible mosquito, eventually successflly pull me out from my God-endowned sleep! How evil they were! How strongly I hated them! It seemed that my roommate also sufferring the attacks from the evil creature! Got up and Called the service woman who then broungt in the mosquito coil incense! Then under the cover of previously disturbed emotion, the cursing of the mosquito and the bad smoke, I agian set off my travel to the dreamland! Suffering!

 

The night before the Test of Intermediate Interpretation: with the suggestion of one of my roommates, I took in a black tablet which is used for the bad cold and has somehow proper help to sleeping! Actually it was not so powerful, but at least it will serve well to set my mind at ease, which , I belive, is the main reason of insominia. That night, when darkness had completely descended on the earthy world, intermittent siren sweeping away the outside road, nosiy TV programme and men's talking outside the door, I lay crowded with Xinxin on the small bed for the joining of another classmate of us, but confidently go to sleep quickly! This time God gave me a drop of dew, saying: drink it, and everything will be ok! It's indeed that everytings went well then!Lucky!

 

The night before the TEM8! Another slight insominia! It had been 12 plus ! "What can I do?" I ask ed myself in worry. I'd tried every way: counting the sheep1,2,3-------100----180----200---Damit! In desperation, I called to my father, who is more a nightowel than me! "Count the sheep, count the sheep!" , he adivised. Nonsense! However, I had another try of counting, and this time it surprising worked! Bingo!

 

At the night of the approaching examination, please descend the bliss to ur children, ur devout children, Amen!

 

The earthquake and the consequential cut-off of MSN made me find that I've developed some special feeling to this blue backgound, which seemingly has become the companion of my heart, especially when I need to pour someting out form the messed mind. Maybe it's because the blue world, although sullen and to some degree dismay, will be prone to bring people to the deeper serenity where one can wind down and think over something quietly!

 

Bi Shuming has ever said that we should commit out good moods to paper, thereby when we're blue, these lively and cheerful words will help relieve the mind gripped by the pains. However, in my condition, I found I have far more blue words than the rejoced in my dictionary. I'd like to write something down in depression, and maybe it's the only outlet of the spasm of the thwarted emotion for me! Anyway, it's better than nothing,hehe!

 

My thinking has just flied to my last graduate admission examination: when I finished the comprehensive English test , specifically when I'd just finished the writing task, I felt I was a bit confused by the present world, having no idea of when it was and thinking it was rainy outside, untile I stand up and look out of the window, finding that the land was wetless and

no flowers of umberllar flying in the sky, which, indeed, had just appeared in my composition. A small writing and a big one; a rainy day outside the mind and the other inside.

 

Many people are seemingly apt to feel blue in the rainy days, so am I! When the warming sunshine was covered tightly by the clouds, the dark side of the world would descend to the earthy world and our mind. And at such a very time, we bemone reduced to the delicate state, facing the possible attack of the moster, the incarnation of every enemies of human beings, including the most terrible one--loneliness!

 

For a long time, I'd underweighted the power of loneliness and believed it only belonged to those who have nothing to do. With the passing time, however, I have begun to shoulder more and more responsibility , come to face up with more and more challenge , and tasted more and more pains of frustration by myself, then I eventually began to understand the weight of the familiar word-lonliness.

 

In my underdtanding, there are 3 levels of lonliness:

1 Although in a solitary state, however, one is enjoying the special benefits it has brought in__the quietness . 

2 Although the solitariness has insinuated in one's mind, however, one may feel dull and boring but no pains, and can easily resume oneself maybe just by a shift of activity.

3 The highest rank: one is feeling lonely, not because he's alone without others' companion, but because he's missing somebody who even doesn't know u're missing her! That's the most terrible pains, the mental torture!

 

There's an illusion in my heart, which has tortured me for a long time. Maybe I should say it in a more opstismic way : there's an illusion in my heart, which has brough me much happiness,because God has told us the pains is just the resources of great happiness!  

 

What's the illusion?  A secret , hehe!

 

Zhang Ailing said: what a female has spent her lifetime on thinking about, talking about, love and hate is her Mr Right, specifically her soul male!

 

God's favoured children are not those who are in the holy bond as strong as the steel, but those who are in the unseperable bond with his soul-male, even if sometimes the string between them is too tiny to visible!

 

I've said too much, haven't I? Hehe, feel better now!

 

 

 By Bryan

   Without a trace,2006 is gone, leaving best wishes in 2007.
   Days flying, people going, seasons changing, beating hearts take young ones with beautiful dreams and ambitions all round the planet. Running for goals, one seldom makes a stop thinking, enjoying the views. Those far away from home working hard are so much driven by pressures and aims that they set for themselves deep inside of their hearts that sometimes they forget about all the precious things around, health, family members, friends, time for fun, hiking… There are too many blueprints to paint, too many dreams to be fulfilled, too much money to be made. One is indulged in stresses overlooking the vistas, breeze, drizzle, sunshine, and snow. Looking back, one finds there’ve been too many things missing… Distance between his beloved ones and himself is stretching to abyss, dark and rough. One never realizes it’s too deep to climb to the top until he finds himself at the bottom of it. So never forget to say hello to your friends, love to all that you love and no to people asking you for things against your hearts. Desires are Satan’s mires and learning to have a rest and enjoying what you possess are the gifts endowed with by Jesus. Stop when you are tired, having a cup of tea, listening to a song, reading a poem, feeling the fragrance of flowers and nature because we are all blessed by God and we are all blessed in 2007!